Terrible Times

It was early fall of the same year, and the children had started back to school. I had a couple of hours to myself, before I had to go to my lunch-time cleaning account (where I had to go and clean Converts two large company contract bathrooms). I got a call from Convert that morning. He was yelling at me on the phone. He was using profane language to explain to me that there was a problem at the bank. I started crying while I was talking with him, because I couldn't understand how there could have been a problem with what he was talking about. He stated that there was a large sum of money missing from the business account, and accusingly, wanted to know why I had taken it out. He also wanted to know what I had done with the money! I couldn't hardly believe that he was accusing me of taking money out of the business. Did he think that I was that stupid? The more he talked, the more upset I got. He hung up and I wept, and wept....
I had to talk to someone. I needed some guidance. I called the doctor's office and explained what had just happened. The doctor wasn't in the office and the secretary and nurse couldn't help me at all. I hung up the phone and wept more. I had only been getting one hour of sleep a night and was totally exhausted. I had no more energy. I couldn't take what Convert was doing to me anymore. I needed sleep and because I was over tired, took a few of his sleeping pills. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to go to sleep. I gulped them down with some water and went into my bedroom. I got down on my knees and begged, "God to PLEASE help me. Take away the hurt, take away the pain, but most of all, I need you, God, to change the current situation I am in". I continued weeping for a long time.....
The next thing I remembered was that I was lying in a bed in a strange place. It seemed sterile and impersonal. I remember a woman standing by me, rubbing my shoulder. She had a friendly smile and asked how I was doing. I said that I was hurting inside. She silently smiled back. I then realized that I had lost the time between weeping in my bedroom and waking up in a hospital bed. However, I vividly remembered my kids being with me before the ambulance came to pick me up. I could hear their voices and feel their touch, and wanted to yell out to them, but I couldn't.
The next couple of weeks were the hardest. I had to be away from my children and get myself together. While I was there, in the hospital, Convert gave me divorce papers. Mentally, I was not concerned about what he was saying, but instead was thinking back to when he was in the hospital, and I was there for him. The only reason he visited me in the hospital, was to give me another petition for divorce.
The doctor came and saw me several times and concluded that I needed to get totally away from Convert. He said that my major depression was ruling me. The doctor said I needed to attend therapy secessions to teach me how to gain skills for mental survival. He said I needed to know how to stand up for myself. He also said that I needed to be able to have mental strength, not only for my self, but for my kids.
After the two week stay in the hospital, I went home. It felt different being there. No one was home at that time, so I sat at the kitchen table and meditated. About ten minutes went by, then Convert came home. He smiled and said, hi. He sat down and told me that I was never to leave the house again. He said that I was not to disobey him again. He stated that if I did leave the house, he would make sure that I would wind up living in the gutter. He said that I left the house he would call the cops and have me picked up, and locked up. I told him that I needed to attend my therapy sessions. He replied that I was not to attend these sessions.
Right then I knew that I really needed some kind of therapy to help me. I needed to get better and not be afraid anymore, but to know how to think correctly. (Due to my Mormon mental conditioning, regarding the priesthood authority and obeying church doctrine, rather than how to think, I didn't have the mental ability to withstand whatever Convert threw at me.) I went to my first counseling session. The only thing I learned from it was that the counselor 'never lost his place'. That evening, I came home and found no one there. Convert had taken the kids and left.
The next few months were extremely hard for me. Convert had kept me from finding the kids for three days. He had a new house for the kids. He must of have rented the place before I got out of the hospital. Convert, somehow, had the court system give him custody of the kids. I lost my kids to Convert all because I needed some sleep.
I had no job, no family, no church, no friends, and no God. I felt like I'd lost everything that meant anything to me. I called my parents and pleaded with them to help me. This was the only thing I knew to do. I went home, back to Michigan. I left the people I loved the most in order to start over. I left my home that I had paid for to the kids, and forced myself to leave Georgia, in order to get myself together.........Convert and I divorced while living states apart......