Mind, Spirit, Body

I got to know a married couple that helped me get to Michigan. They rented a van and drove me from Georgia to Michigan. When we got to my parents house I saw a large banner on the window welcoming me home. After the couple left, I sat down on the couch and wept like a baby in my mothers arms. She wept as well.
I didn't have any of my stuff with me, because I had no way of getting it up to Michigan. I came to Michigan with only a small box of belongings. My parents had prepared a room for me and I settled in. I had mixed emotions about being back home. My heart was back in Georgia, but my body was is Michigan.
My dad believed that the best thing I could do to get myself together was to start attending the Mormon church again. He thought that I should have kept going to church while married to Convert. He believed that by attending church and burying my head in the 'Book of Mormon' that I would get back to my old self. I complied, and went to church with my parents. It felt strange and I was uneasy sitting in the church pew. I felt that something wasn't right by being there. However, I kept attending even though I didn't feel that this was the answer that I was looking for. While in church, I'd listen to the lessons that were presented and to the testimonies that were said, but couldn't seem to get anything out of it.
My parents heavily encouraged me to get a job, and they provided me with a loaner car. I found a job at a nursing home, and I worked as an aide while I waited for my nursing license to be transferred from GA to MI. Working there seemed strange too, because I felt as though I should be with my kids back in GA, however, I had to pay my parents for room and board. After I received my license, nursing didn't seem to help me feel any better either.
My dad said that I should get a loan for a car and rent a house, and prepare to get my kids back. Renting a house, paying for a car, working, and going to church was necessary, but those things, couldn't, more importantly, help me get my mind, spirit, and body together.
Everything seemed wrong and nothing seemed logical. I felt confused, and I had no guidance to help me make decisions for myself, or for my kids. My spirit was empty. Going to church and reading the Book of Mormon didn't give the spiritual food I needed, or something solid that I could believe in. Last of all, my body was suffering because I smoked way too much. I was over weight, and I was on medication that was supposed to help keep me from crying about the things that had happened.
I was hungry for something that made sense. I longed for the truth. I needed the right guidance. I needed the right words and knowledge that would help me think constructively about everything. I needed something to help me mature and grow and get me out of the nonthinking Mormon mentality. I couldn't go back into the same lifestyle I started with. Mormonism didn't teach me anything, but how to do and obey. (The closest thing I can think of that resembles the Mormon way of life is Communism. Neither system of beliefs allows for individual identity as well as personal maturity.)


About Me

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Michigan, United States
I spent a lot of time deciding if I should write this blog or not. I'm not a great writer and I'm not going to pretend to be. I need to share what I have learned and I might not make some people happy with what I am saying. This blog is a way for me to release the thoughts and feelings that come with knowing I grew up in the wrong religion. A healing process if you will.

How To Read This Blog

Please start with the month of February 2007 and read backwards. This is the most effective way to understand, in order, why I say what I do.

Handmaidens Creed

1.I believe in God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit as one God without beginning or end.
2.I believe the Bible to be the Holy Inspired word of God with full truth and righteousness. No other writing is.
3.I believe that the work of the Lord comes first. Before any temporal thing or person.
4.I believe that grace is a gift and Christ gives that gift freely to all who believe.
5.I believe that the beauty of a woman is contained inside of her and not by what she looks like on the outside.
6.I believe that marriage is sacred and represents the Godhead on earth; two are one just as three are one.
7.I believe that love is more powerful than any other power. Remember, God is love.
8.I believe that tithing is not a part of God's new covenant, free will offerings are. And that doesn't mean just money.
9.I believe that the Aaronic, Levitical, and Melchizedek priesthoods are abolished and Christs Holy Priesthood whom Christ is the "Great High Priest" is eternal.
10.I believe that every believer is a priest in the "Priesthood of Believers".
11.I believe that when two are one, nobody is to separate the one.
12.I believe that Christ is the only way to heaven.
13.I believe that our bodies are temples, not man made buildings.
14.I believe that liars make fools out of others and the liar hates the fool.
15.I believe that all believers are in authority to preach the gospel.
16.I believe that the word 'organization' to describe Christs body is evil and has no place with God.
17.I believe the Americas are not the land of Zion and Christ will return to His origonal land-Israel in the Middle East.
18.I believe that God has set out correct ways of worshiping Him, not man.
19.I believe in holding to the truths of the Bible and not mans understanding of it.
20.I believe that the world is full of evil and Satan can easily gain control over the minds of those who do not profess Christ of the Bible to be their only Messiah.
21.I believe that Saints are those who know the real Savior, Jesus Christ, of whom the Bible speaks of; not the jesus of a cult.