Crazy Insaine

From this point on, our marriage gradually became more and more confusing. Shortly after I began working for Convert, I realized that my nursing license renewal form was missing. After asking him if he had seen it, he told me that he had torn it up and then showed me the small pieces of paper. He said I didn't need to renew it......
Convert shortly thereafter, decided that we needed to get counseling from a psychiatrist. He said that I needed help. He, perhaps, must have thought that, due to the fact that I had been crying a lot, and that in order to relieve stress, I busied myself with cleaning the house that I therefore, must be crazy..?? This is the only conclusion I could come up with as to why he thought there was something mentally wrong with me. He never told me why he thought I was crazy. He concluded that the only way I could get the mental help I needed, was for both of us to see a shrink. He stated that the only way I was going to get better, was that a doctor put me in a mental institution. Convert also wanted to make sure that we had a form filled out by the doctor that would enable me to get social security benefits for being crazy. In order to make sure that the visit with the psychiatrist would be successful, Convert gave me specific instructions in what to do during the visit with the doctor. He wanted legitimate proof that I was crazy. He told me that when I got in his office I was to pull my pants down, squat on the doctors desk and urinate on the doctors papers. (There was NO way I was going to do that!)
We went to the psychiatrist. On the way there, I was feeling a mixture of emotions. I was asking myself, why was I going to a psychiatrist? I didn't feel as though there was anything wrong with me. Convert was expecting me to do this mentally insane thing in the doctors office! I was apprehensive and afraid that the doctor might believe what ever Convert said. I was hoping that the doctor would see the truth that there was nothing wrong with me. Instead of going for the reasons that Convert stated, I went with the hope that the doctor would see through him and help him and help us get our lives together.
After two secessions, the doctor told me that the only thing that was wrong with me was stress and major depression. He said that he could help me through these tough times. The doctor also said that he can't help Convert. The doctor went on to tell me that Convert was too far gone, and that there was no help for him.
I was happy to know that I wasn't crazy, and that I didn't need to be in a mental institution. Convert couldn't have his form for the social security people filled out in my name......

1 comments:

Godhead September 26, 2010 at 6:44 PM  

Reading about your experiences with your convert husband only confirms what I have always believed, that the majority of a woman's problems stem from the man in her life. The difference it makes in a persons life. I feel sorry for women, that they live in world full of crazy men of very poor character, and so there is little choice in rotten apples for them. You probably already know this but what you went through with your convert husband is much more common then you may think. So many married women have suffered because they got trapped into a relationship with a controlling and domineering man, who is completely self obsessed. It makes me angry in a way for I see this happen and how men take their wives for granted and mistreat them, and it happens in the Christian church as well, don't you worry. I have seen it and know men who can sing all the songs in the hymn book and abuse and cheat on their wives. If I had a wife I would probably worship the ground that she walked on, and that's why I think God will not let me get married. He is a Jealous God after all. I once read that God will deny us the thing we want most, sometimes I think that is true, but it is for the best. Jesus said that the husband should love their wives as Christ loved the church. So that means he should die rather then see his wife get hurt. That's what Paul said. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." (Eph 5:25) It is a great sin for a man to mistreat his wife. I was totally devestaded with Tiger Woods who was a hero of mine as you could imagine. Just goes to show you that no man but Christ can be truly trustworthy. Unless Convert comes to a realization of his great sin, he will answer for what he had done. Being a terrible husband and human being. May God grant him repentance. Amen!

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Michigan, United States
I spent a lot of time deciding if I should write this blog or not. I'm not a great writer and I'm not going to pretend to be. I need to share what I have learned and I might not make some people happy with what I am saying. This blog is a way for me to release the thoughts and feelings that come with knowing I grew up in the wrong religion. A healing process if you will.

How To Read This Blog

Please start with the month of February 2007 and read backwards. This is the most effective way to understand, in order, why I say what I do.

Handmaidens Creed

1.I believe in God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit as one God without beginning or end.
2.I believe the Bible to be the Holy Inspired word of God with full truth and righteousness. No other writing is.
3.I believe that the work of the Lord comes first. Before any temporal thing or person.
4.I believe that grace is a gift and Christ gives that gift freely to all who believe.
5.I believe that the beauty of a woman is contained inside of her and not by what she looks like on the outside.
6.I believe that marriage is sacred and represents the Godhead on earth; two are one just as three are one.
7.I believe that love is more powerful than any other power. Remember, God is love.
8.I believe that tithing is not a part of God's new covenant, free will offerings are. And that doesn't mean just money.
9.I believe that the Aaronic, Levitical, and Melchizedek priesthoods are abolished and Christs Holy Priesthood whom Christ is the "Great High Priest" is eternal.
10.I believe that every believer is a priest in the "Priesthood of Believers".
11.I believe that when two are one, nobody is to separate the one.
12.I believe that Christ is the only way to heaven.
13.I believe that our bodies are temples, not man made buildings.
14.I believe that liars make fools out of others and the liar hates the fool.
15.I believe that all believers are in authority to preach the gospel.
16.I believe that the word 'organization' to describe Christs body is evil and has no place with God.
17.I believe the Americas are not the land of Zion and Christ will return to His origonal land-Israel in the Middle East.
18.I believe that God has set out correct ways of worshiping Him, not man.
19.I believe in holding to the truths of the Bible and not mans understanding of it.
20.I believe that the world is full of evil and Satan can easily gain control over the minds of those who do not profess Christ of the Bible to be their only Messiah.
21.I believe that Saints are those who know the real Savior, Jesus Christ, of whom the Bible speaks of; not the jesus of a cult.