PATRIARCH

....or is it dad? The head of the household is the patriarch of the home. What does this mean to a child that grows up in a Mormon [LDS] house? When a child grows up with these terms; head of the house, patriarch, priesthood authority, it only means one person and that is dad. He has the final say, the upper hand and sometimes the iron hand. I'm not sure if I gained more respect, or more fear of his position. I learned real early that his position was not to be toyed with, nor was it to be challenged. I remember as a small child that when my dad got dressed up in his Sunday suit, I was seeing the 'Mormon Authority' walk through the house. After this he would then leave with my brothers to the Mormon church house on Sunday mornings.
When I got to the church building on those mornings with my mom and sisters, there were many, many authoritative suits with armor [Mormon scriptures] in hand and a lordosis, head in the clouds, proud walk. I wasn't sure where I was, between the ages of three and twelve, when I was around the men with their suits on. I finally found myself more relaxed and at ease once I went down stairs to primary class at church.
At home when the 'suit' was put away and the jeans are on, the patriarch continues with his position while undercover of blue cotton and dirty work shoes. I didn't dare to get out of step of his instruction. The consequences were rough.
When I got older I learned that this same patriarch believed that he had the authority to decide the future of his offspring. I don't know how other Mormon priesthood holders believe, but I know that my patriarch believes this. I learned the light of this after a lot of heartache through many, many situations and relationships that did not have the best end results. Fear dominated my youth and I didn't know which way to turn. I wasn't taught in my growing up years how to support myself, so I didn't know what to do to get out from underneath this all powerful authority.
I learned how to be pleasing to everyone around me. I also learned how to do everything I was told. It didn't matter what the task was, as long as I did my handmaiden duty with a smile on my face and quickness in my step. That way I stayed away from the iron hand. The authority from the position that my dad holds in the Mormon church, created in me effusive, or extreme emotional behaviors that I'm learning to overcome. I still experience intimidation from time to time when he and I relate to each other. My reaction to any negatives from anyone, has always caused in me an inappropriate, overwhelming sense of guilt, which I'm learning to overcome as well. I have a very understanding and loving husband in Christian who is always there to uplift my soul with prayer and the Word.
In the recent events that have occurred in my life, I've become very aware of how much my fears and behaviors are a result of this priesthood authority, this patriarchal position stemming from my early relationship with my dad. The boundaries that I should have been able to set for myself in my early years that were designed to instill a healthy life with my mind, body, and spirit, I'm now getting to know. It's never too late to know the boundaries that will insure a wholesome, peaceful life with Jesus Christ by my side.
Here are a couple of references that the Mormon men use to verify their Authority. D&C 107. ( A not worthy verse is 107:64 which reads; "Then comes the "High Priesthood, which is the greatest of all."
"One cannot consider this matter without being impressed that the churches of the world today are missing much by not having this authority and information, nor can they get it from reading the Bible." ( A Marverlous Work and a Wonder, pg 160, Legrand Richards)