My Precious Little Book

"The handmaiden of the Lord is filled with SPIRITUAL AWARENESS. Scriptures are guidelines for her life. As a daughter of God, she knows she is an important part of his eternal plan. She looks to him for comfort and guidance. She recognizes the power and authority of the priesthood. She listens to and honors the Lord's servants. (Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all...things shall be added unto you. 3 Nephi 13:33)

She lives in a spiritual home where harmony, love, and beauty dwell. It is a gracious, welcoming place for those who live there and for those who visit. The handmaiden is one who helps make it so. Her heart is happy; her hands are busy as she learns to use the HOMEMAKING ARTS. (Through wisdom is an house built; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3,4)

To love is to serve. To serve is to love. The handmaiden of the Lord is blessed with special gifts of tenderness and concern for others. SERVICE and COMPASSION are part of her everyday existence. She is loved for the loving service she gives. (When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. Mosiah 2:17)

The window of her soul are open wide as the handmaiden of the Lord rejoices in being alive and part of a world filled with wonder and beauty. She finds RECREATION for her soul-spirit and body-as she lives close to the WORLD of NATURE God has created for her. (Yea, all things which come of the earth...are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; ...to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul. D&C 59:18, 19)

The handmaiden of the Lord is a product of her culture, heritage, talents, and the way she uses them. She seeks for beauty and understanding wherever it is found...in life...in books...in a song...or in prayer. CULTURAL ARTS and EDUCATION become stepping stones to the enrichment and fulfillment of her roles in life. (Whatsoever things are true,...honest,...just,...pure,...lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8)

Each handmaiden has gifts from God that are hers alone. She looks for ways of PERSONAL and SOCIAL REFINEMENT to enhance these gifts. As she meets her individual challenges in her preparation to meet the Savior, she is strong and gentle, steadfast and gracious, courageous and humble. She likes herself and accepts herself for what she is--a daughter of God. (For verily I say unto you, all those who receive my gospel are sons and daughters in my kingdom. D&C 25:1)" BEHOLD THY HANDMAIDEN, Published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 1974

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As I look back into this little book and read what is written above, I reflect back on the most impressionable years of my life. I have fond memories of how I strived for perfection and acceptance by adhering to the laws and boundaries that were set before me by the Mormon church. The flowery wording and the 'feel good' promises that the church gave did nothing for me in the long run. The words above are so wonderful, they are too good to be real. I spent so much time doing what I thought I should do for salvation, that my mind was totally programed to think nothing else. I grew up with hardly any ability to make any decisions for myself and I am still learning how to cope with the harsh realities of life. When I was taught how to gain comfort from God, I was never told what I really needed to be comforted from.

HANDMAIDEN 1. A woman or girl servant or attendant. 2. that which accompanies in a useful but subordinate capacity.

My heart yearned to be all that I could be and do all that I could do, so I could make it to heaven. I was never taught how to create the proper 'boundaries' I needed for my own survival. I got lost in the process of 'when you are in the service of your fellow beings', I could not see that I was getting destroyed in the whole mess. Now that I have broken away from all of the "laws" that I was required to do, I am in a hole, and I have extreme difficulty dealing with all of those years of having my head screwed on backwards.
It's not easy to pull out of the brain washing that Mormonism did to me. I pray that none of you have to go through what I went through, and still go through. I understand that time heals all wounds. I know that it's going to take a lot of time for me to heal.

4 comments:

L. S. Smathers Family October 22, 2010 at 4:07 AM  

You wrote the word, the word I learned all by myself after much grief and heartache. BOUNDARIES...not much to say here, except, thank goodness we have them now.

handmaiden October 22, 2010 at 8:56 PM  

Yeah, thank goodness!!!!
God Bless You!!!

Godhead November 14, 2010 at 4:56 PM  

It was never your fault for being borne in a Mormon home and indoctrinated into the Mormon church while you could not have possibly known any different. You never stood a chance. your Mother and Father, the two most important people in your lives, think of the influence that has on the child's physiological development. We all start in the wrong place, but all that matters is that we finish in the right place. To do that we have to run in the right race. Good to see you doing that now and good to see you using your experiences to help others.

Cynthialau0908 June 3, 2012 at 10:33 AM  

I pray for you to find joy in your life!

About Me

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Michigan, United States
I spent a lot of time deciding if I should write this blog or not. I'm not a great writer and I'm not going to pretend to be. I need to share what I have learned and I might not make some people happy with what I am saying. This blog is a way for me to release the thoughts and feelings that come with knowing I grew up in the wrong religion. A healing process if you will.

How To Read This Blog

Please start with the month of February 2007 and read backwards. This is the most effective way to understand, in order, why I say what I do.

Handmaidens Creed

1.I believe in God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit as one God without beginning or end.
2.I believe the Bible to be the Holy Inspired word of God with full truth and righteousness. No other writing is.
3.I believe that the work of the Lord comes first. Before any temporal thing or person.
4.I believe that grace is a gift and Christ gives that gift freely to all who believe.
5.I believe that the beauty of a woman is contained inside of her and not by what she looks like on the outside.
6.I believe that marriage is sacred and represents the Godhead on earth; two are one just as three are one.
7.I believe that love is more powerful than any other power. Remember, God is love.
8.I believe that tithing is not a part of God's new covenant, free will offerings are. And that doesn't mean just money.
9.I believe that the Aaronic, Levitical, and Melchizedek priesthoods are abolished and Christs Holy Priesthood whom Christ is the "Great High Priest" is eternal.
10.I believe that every believer is a priest in the "Priesthood of Believers".
11.I believe that when two are one, nobody is to separate the one.
12.I believe that Christ is the only way to heaven.
13.I believe that our bodies are temples, not man made buildings.
14.I believe that liars make fools out of others and the liar hates the fool.
15.I believe that all believers are in authority to preach the gospel.
16.I believe that the word 'organization' to describe Christs body is evil and has no place with God.
17.I believe the Americas are not the land of Zion and Christ will return to His origonal land-Israel in the Middle East.
18.I believe that God has set out correct ways of worshiping Him, not man.
19.I believe in holding to the truths of the Bible and not mans understanding of it.
20.I believe that the world is full of evil and Satan can easily gain control over the minds of those who do not profess Christ of the Bible to be their only Messiah.
21.I believe that Saints are those who know the real Savior, Jesus Christ, of whom the Bible speaks of; not the jesus of a cult.